Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(856): View more from New Jersey

My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

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(248): View more from Michigan

she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear

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(813): View more from Florida

I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him

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(631): View more from New York

I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.

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(406): View more from Montana

just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime

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(308): View more from Nebraska

You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.

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(716): View more from New York

You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.

(315): View more from New York

Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.

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