If i come over, it means nothing
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Randomize
