Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
