If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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