weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
