it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize