I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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