Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
