I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
