You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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