Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
