Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
