i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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