so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
