What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
