i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
