brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize