do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
