Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
