Swine flu is the new snow day.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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