if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
