"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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