you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
