I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize