That's intense
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
