i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize