just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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