I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
