I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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