Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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