Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
