She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
