Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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