with your own penis?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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