just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
