i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
