I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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