dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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