Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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