3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
