wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize
