y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
