omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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