Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
