$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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