make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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