these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
