butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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