The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
