Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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