Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
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