already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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