i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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