well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize