I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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