A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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