So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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