The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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