I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
