i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
