But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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