Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
