Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
