Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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