i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
